He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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