I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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