I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
