we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
