Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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