Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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