It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i barfeds in our rink
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
