Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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