I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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