I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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