I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
