kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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