when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
