Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.

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(604): I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks. http://tfl.nu/kxma

Replies (34) Good night (2489) Bad night (2881)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.

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(402): Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES. http://tfl.nu/mubn

Replies (11) Good night (1717) Bad night (645)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.

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(303): I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight. http://tfl.nu/0aby

Replies (18) Good night (4016) Bad night (1017)
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(914): View more from New York

Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts

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(914): Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts http://tfl.nu/cnqz

Replies (12) Good night (3338) Bad night (911)
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(619): View more from California

I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.

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(619): I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face. http://tfl.nu/73xe

Replies (24) Good night (2593) Bad night (882)
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(972): View more from Texas

Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.

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(972): Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy. http://tfl.nu/2xr2

Replies (52) Good night (1096) Bad night (9767)
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(210): View more from Texas

remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity

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(210): remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity http://tfl.nu/9sni

Replies (20) Good night (1001) Bad night (5250)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?

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(503): Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem? http://tfl.nu/dk03

Replies (24) Good night (866) Bad night (3272)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.

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(412): Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest. http://tfl.nu/42ye

Replies (6) Good night (4492) Bad night (1141)
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(254): View more from Texas

it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.

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(254): it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless. http://tfl.nu/hrpm

Replies (15) Good night (3028) Bad night (1627)
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(903): View more from Texas

Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.

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(903): Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high. http://tfl.nu/bi94

Replies (6) Good night (1454) Bad night (716)
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(+61): View more from Australia

why is my forehead so bruised?

(1+61): View more from

i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.

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(+61): why is my forehead so bruised? (1+61): i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms. http://tfl.nu/t9yj

Replies (6) Good night (2464) Bad night (822)
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(630): View more from Illinois

you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"

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(630): you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread" http://tfl.nu/vwcq

Replies (2) Good night (1063) Bad night (437)
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(719): View more from Colorado

And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.

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(719): And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing. http://tfl.nu/cuj5

Replies (7) Good night (826) Bad night (511)
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(831): View more from California

My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire

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(831): My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire http://tfl.nu/9w77

Replies (6) Good night (944) Bad night (416)

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