i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.