Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?