Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B

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  (305): I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B http://tfl.nu/epjn
  Replies (35) Good night (1168) Bad night (3499)
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  (707): View more from California

  Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.

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  (707): Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman. http://tfl.nu/1yjg
  Replies (6) Good night (3433) Bad night (674)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.

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  (402): I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over. http://tfl.nu/b7hl
  Replies (62) Good night (8135) Bad night (1020)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.

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  (812): Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward. http://tfl.nu/8jbn
  Replies (16) Good night (3566) Bad night (822)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar

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  (484): I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar http://tfl.nu/nsmi
  Replies (20) Good night (1502) Bad night (5982)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...

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  (616): So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes... http://tfl.nu/3so6
  Replies (6) Good night (3559) Bad night (1050)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand

  (816): View more from Missouri

  team rage. no explanation necessary

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  (636): I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand (816): team rage. no explanation necessary http://tfl.nu/mquv
  Replies (2) Good night (1892) Bad night (3158)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit

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  (419): we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit http://tfl.nu/q27h
  Replies (16) Good night (3007) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position

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  (954): tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position http://tfl.nu/ss2w
  Replies (5) Good night (1093) Bad night (460)
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  (716): View more from New York

  the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.

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  (716): the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue. http://tfl.nu/b0ty
  Replies (8) Good night (1064) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.

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  (203): I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was. http://tfl.nu/rzaa
  Replies (3) Good night (959) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!

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  (818): Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security! http://tfl.nu/7slr
  Replies (2) Good night (294) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.

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  (805): That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture. http://tfl.nu/lxlo
  Replies (4) Good night (675) Bad night (352)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants

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  (256): I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants http://tfl.nu/gsua
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.

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  (785): Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit. http://tfl.nu/mx9p
  Replies (2) Good night (290) Bad night (467)

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