even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.