I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
