I want to make a zoo with you.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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