Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
