is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
