My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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