I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
