There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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