I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize