My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
