took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
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I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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