Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
