If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
