I puked a lego.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
