just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
