3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
