yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
