I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
