We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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