don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
