Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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