You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
