I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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