You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
