yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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