And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
