I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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