12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
