i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
