is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
where are you?
Hypothermia
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
