So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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