Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
