I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
