Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
