Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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