I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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