Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
