escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
