i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
