quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I want a musical about memes.
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