someone get that fucking seahorse.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
