i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
