I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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