..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
