I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You are the jesus of drinking
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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